So – here’s the classic model of showing up.
We set a goal. We show up. We incrementally make progress until we achieve that goal. It’s a straight line from start to goal.
Realistically, we know it doesn’t work like this, but a part of us wishes it did – that it was straightforward and simple – and that myth is a powerful one.
In this classic model, the onus to achieve things is mostly on us as individuals. All we have to do is show up. This usually involves starting before we feel ready and pushing through until we get there. ‘There’ is the important thing. Achieving our goal is the good bit.
But of course, showing up is actually a wiggly line.
Here is what the slow and wiggly reality of showing up can be like.
If we are coming back from burnout or we’re worn out, we’re often not ready to get started and we need to give ourselves more time before committing to goals. Even when we do get going, after the initial thrill of starting, we soon hit a dip. For a while it seems that nothing is happening and we wonder if it’s even worth it. Things take ages to happen – longer than we think.
Plus, we take with us everything else that we have going on – physical health, neurodiversity, caring roles we have, changes or big events that are already happening for us. We take that weight with us and go at different speeds.
And maybe we even miss our goal. We don’t always get where we expect – random stuff happens that we’re not in control of.
In the classic model – the goal is the good bit.
In the wiggly model – all of this is the good bit. Most of life is the wiggly, not-quite-going-to-plan, showing up. So let’s really enjoy it.
Here are a few things that help:
- Set realistic, manageable goals. Do a bit less and pause to acknowledge what you do achieve.
- Connect with other people so you can get support and back-up. Everyone else is having a wiggly time too.
- Take care of yourself as you go. Go slow, recharge and laugh on the way.
So – what helps you build resilience and enjoy the wiggly route to that goal?
Hi, I’m Anise
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Feeling stuck, overwhelmed or ready to make resilience part of how you work? Get in touch. I’d love to help.
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